Use Failures to Achieve your Dreams
By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler
Pioneer Brain/Mind Researcher
© 2007 All Rights Reserved
Any project you engage in will produce at least one thing -- results. Now for sure some of your results will be far more rewarding than others. But some may not fit your expectations … and may even feel like out-and-out failures.
And “failures,” or not getting the results you want, can be a bit discouraging. But still – it could be your biggest, nastiest flop that leads straight into the arms of what really works.
Look Over your Shoulder
Remember back when you first learned how to ride a bicycle? You probably started with training wheels. This made your beginning easy, and was a great introduction. But of course, what you wanted was to ride on two wheels. So then the training wheels came off … and suddenly everything became quite a bit more challenging.
You were scared at first … but also excited! Remember how you fought to stay upright. And somehow you managed to keep climbing back on after all those nasty falls. And how you also somehow managed to overlook all those scrapes, bloody elbows, and lumpy bruises.
Amazing isn’t it? You just kept on going. You were absolutely determined to succeed, and nothing was going to stand in your way. So you finally mastered balancing on two wheels. And listen – if you never did learn to ride a bike, you surely did go through the same thing just learning to walk!
You were a gusty little guy or gal, weren’t you?
Has anything changed between then and now? Do you still tackle your goals with the same enthusiasm and unstoppable determination to succeed?
No? It’s funny how we take our cuts and bruises (failures) more seriously now, isn’t it! How we look around to see if anyone noticed when we trip. Or if our mate or boss is about to climb on us for another “stupid idea that’s certain to fall flat.”
Recapture Your Enthusiasm
For sure, its certainly not fun to fail. And it can also be darn uncomfortable going through that clumsy stage when trying to learn something new. So what can we do to recapture that “devil may care” youthful enthusiasm that gave us such remarkable successes as a kid?
My approach when I hit a bump in the road is to remind myself that I’ve identified something that doesn’t work – and that takes me that much closer to discovering what will work. Guess you’d say Thomas Edison is one of my success. Edison used thousands of failures to figure out what didn’t work, and finally created the first electric light bulb.
The more successful people I get to know, the more convinced I am that all successful people literally "fail" their way to success. I’m not saying they particularly enjoy their "failures" -– I know I never have. But they realize that failures truly are an essential step on the road to success.
After all, if it was that easy to be a raging success -– everyone could do it. True success takes guts, persistence, and the ability to get up and go on after you trip over a bump in the road. We all have the potential (remember the bicycle experience) ... but it seems as though a lot of us forget that we have it in us!
Dissect your Failures
To learn from a failure, it’s essential to look each “failure” straight in the eyeball like Edison did. Here’s how:
Clarify your Goal. Start with a clear understanding of what you are doing when you begin to analyze a goal. You are NOT looking for how YOU were wrong. Don’t make this a personal witch hunt – look for the facts.
Dig into it and discover what was working, exactly when you saw the first signs it wasn’t working, precisely when it stopped working, and WHY it didn’t work.
Ask yourself what ONE lesson you learned from this “failure.” Just one! And state it in terms that separate it from yourself, if possible. Try to determine if there is some “universal” success principle involved.
Determine what positive results you received from your actions prior to when you felt you had “failed.
Decide what steps you can take to avoid this in the future.
Edit your plan to avoid this problem in your next try.
Avoid Quitting
Quitting is actually a decision we make when we decide to call our project a failure. But if you adopt Edison’s attitude and just count it as another attempt, you’ll actually take a step forward closer to success.
Instead of just quitting, try asking yourself a few personal questions:
Do you really care? Do you have a passionate, burning desire to achieve your underlying goal? Do you feel excited? Do you really want it? If not … this may not be the right goal for you. Make up your mind.
Are you being realistic? What do you wish to achieve, and is it believable to you? What do you envision? Do you visualize yourself achieving this goal? Are you prepared for success?
Are you willing to overcome any failures? Do you have the determination to keep on going until you reach your goal?
Hey –- even big winners sometimes stub their toes! In the end, if you learn from every defeat and stay focused on your desired goal -- failure will eventually lead you straight to success! The only way you can fail, after all, is if you choose to quit!
A True Story
If I may share a true story from my own life: I want you to know that this article about failure is solidly built on my own experience. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I failed many, many times on my way to today's level of success.
And I know about loss. At one point in my life ... in the period of three months I lost my business, my house, my property, my relationship -- and even my cat of 22 years died. I think it's safe to call that a major catastrophic failure!
My "Smash Your Limits" ecourse is not just some psychologist's idea of how to overcome failure and succeed. Not at all. I used these same techniques on myself to arrive where I am today. If you would like a "leg up,"come=> Join me!
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